Rebirth during life is far more painful than all the deaths gathered in themselves. It is the choice of the best version in us. A single action in us that seems to tear us apart and dismantles us only to be reborn to what our soul longs to experience. A new life in life that we already have now and here.
To die but to live with your eyes open for becoming is the same as you should be the doctor, the midwife and the anesthesiologist, the mother and the child during childbirth. But in this play you become all these characters . And birth turns from trauma into a joy . The transformation process after is the real miracle in which you become your own parent. You grow up, you take out of yourself everything you have been taught up to that moment and you authentically heal every wound and scar left by the ancestors who brought into the soul of the parents conceptions that are now useless.
I was reborn in understanding love because loving for myself has always been drama and hopelessness. I always felt like I was the wolf at the lions’ table. Never chosen by the one I wanted, rejected because although maybe I was the most beautiful specimen of my race I was not naturally compatible with a lion. A lion looking for something else in a partner than a wolf would look for. I was struggling to prove like a she-wolf, loyalty, devotion and love for the partner that I crave to be with me in the projects of my life without realizing that I was always offering all this to a lion, the one who by nature needs more lionesses and my fidelity and loyalty to him were useless.
Reborn in understanding love I began to understand that in the family I saw a she-wolf at the lions’ table. Warm, gentle and always there for her partner who was always looking for another partner. That was for me the normality I was looking for from a man – rejection.
And always whatever I was doing was more than I should for the right partner but for that one in my life I was always too ugly, bad and totally unfeminine this until I started to feel my true nature, I had no place running after antelopes in Safari, my place was at home in the woods waiting for the evenings with the full moon to look at them with the eyes of my soul.
And then I understood that I am enough, I am quite beautiful, of intelligence and of woman for the one who is part of my race, for the one who is looking for me what I am looking for in him.
I let the lion go into his world and I smiled from my world.
I came home, the she-wolf lost in Safari back in the forests with the full moon .
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